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Monday, 30 November 2009

  • it does not work like this really. really really.

    i dont want. it scares me and freaks me. 
    sadly i detest it

    do not come knocking on my door - i've lost the key and i cant be bothered to find it.
    cant open the door, dont want to open it.

Sunday, 29 November 2009

  • :)

    No. 1!
    As if it were
    forever that they move, that we
    keep moving -

    Under a wan sky where
    as the lights went on a star
    pierced the hze and now
    follows steadily
    a constant
    above our six lanes
    the dreamlike continuum...

    And the people - ourselves!
    the humans from inside the
    cars apparent
    only at gasoline stops
    unsure,
    eyeing at each other

    drink coffee hastily at the
    slot machines & hurry
    back to the cars
    vanish
    into them forever, to
    keep moving -

    Houses now & then beyond the
    sealed road, the trees/trees, bushes
    passing by, passing
    the cars that
    keep moving ahead of
    us, past us, pressing behind us
    and
    over left, those that come
    toward us shining too brightly
    moving relentlessly

    in six lanes, gliding
    north & south, speeding with
    a slurred sound -

    No. 2!
    Love like a juggler comes to play his prize
    And all minds draw his wonders to admire,
    To see how cunningly he, wanting eyes,
    Can yet decieve the best sight of desire;
    The wanton child, how he can feign his fire
    So prettily as none sees his disguise,
    How finely do his tricks, while we fools hire
    The badge and office of his tyrannies,
    For in the end, such juggling he doth make
    As her our hearts, instead of eyes, doth take;
    For men can only by their sleights abuse
    The sight with nimble and delightful skill,
    But if he play, his gain is our lost will;
    Yet, childlike, we cannot his sport refuse.

    No. 3!
    "Hope" is the thing with feathers -
    That perches the soul -
    And sings the tune without the words -
    And never stops - at all -

    And sweetest - in the Gale - is heard
    And sore must be the storm -
    That could abash the little Bird
    That kept so many warm -

    I've heard it in the chillest land -
    And on the strangest Sea -
    Yet, never in Extremity,
    It asked a crumb - of Me.

    No. 4!
    Come sleep, O sleep, the certain knot of peace,
    The baiting place of wit, the balm of woe
    The poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release,
    The indifferent judge between the high and low;
    With shield of proof shield me from out the prease
    Of those fierce darts Despair at me doth throw:
    O make in me those civil wars to cease;
    I will good tribute pay, if thou do so.
    Take thou of me smooth pillows, sweetest bed,
    A chamber deaf to noise, and blind to light,
    A rose garland, and a weary head:
    And if these things, as being thine by right,
    Move not thy heavy gracfe, thou shalt in me,
    Livelier than elsewhere Stella's image see.

    LOVE LIT! the most interesting thing is that there is always new texts so its always interesting theres always something new to discover and learn!! oh yayyyyy

Saturday, 28 November 2009

  • kills the worthless faith

    this is TERRIBLE :( some boy just knocked into me and my wound is OPEN NOW OPEN OPEN OPEN :( :( :( booooooooo. i am so scared theres gonna be a scar omgosh omgosh omgosh :'( pleaseeeeeeeee dont let there be a scar!

    okay not very productive today OH NO! but tomorrow will be better i know. :) hmm thomson plaza is such a peaceful place to be at. haha reminds me of the times when i was young. and innocent. :) haha wish i could go back to primary school times. or even in secondary school life was less stressful and complicated. yes i totally hate growing up - wish i could live in never land with peter pan and tinkerbell alright!

    i hate those words i hate those words i do not want to hear them EVER again.

    i just want 9th december to be over and i reach singapore from bintan and just lead a peaceful life subsequently. and see the people i want to see and dont hear what i dont want to hear.wanna go WORK! maybe sell ice cream or work at starbucks! :)  

    thank goodness for the stabilising forces in my life. 1. studying 2. you and you! 3. myself. the first stabilising force works best but sucks because i will lose it after 5th dec. mannnn gladys and i were just saying we cant imagine life without studying :S :S

Friday, 27 November 2009

  • UGLY!!!!

    MY SCAR IS SO UGLY freak i feel so depressed simply looking at it and thinking HOW STUPID I WAS. :'( :'( :'( :'( KILL ME NOW next time when i shake hands with any one its gonna be SO UGLY my goodness YUCKS YUCKS YUCKSSSSS :'(

    surprisingly i am quite satisfied with what i have done today - which is actually not a lot?!?!? maaaan :( i just lost the drive to study since econs essay LOL terrible! :O okay i hope tomorrow will be more productive! i think i need to read more china studs articles.... whoops. super scared for compulsory question la!!! :S :S :S

    lit sat has been TOUGH i have been scoring REALLY BADLY :( :( but honestly it is quite fun! i miss lit so much, really. its quite hard for me to like something im not good at - the last time was china studs in j1 haha i was doing badly but i still loved it! and i still love it - i think? heh its okay not important i will dump it soon anyways ;) but really lit is so interesting my goshhhhh i love poems and plays especially. haha the themes discussed are also very random! but interesting and sometimes even thought provoking. random stuff like nature, hope, death, seeking comfort, etc. really really fun okayyyy. oh no but i have not started on math!!! ahhh. hope after china studs i can finish it in the few days...? or maybe i should start on it soon huh... hmmm.

    GREAT POEMS! i was so bored i decided to go online to read some poems to improve my comprehension of poems :) :)

    1. Rationality

    My friend said, "scientific rationality is the only thing that makes sense,
    For subjective feeling and personal belief there can be no defense."
    I said, "I understand this is your feeling and belief,
    I shall not argue, to avoid any unwanted future grief."

    haha i like the twist. :)

    2. The Moon

    You can take the moon by the spoonful
    or in capsules every two hours.
    It's useful as a hypnotic and sedative
    and besides it relieves
    those who have had too much philosophy.
    A piece of moon in your purse
    works better than a rabbit's foot.
    Helps you find a lover
    or get rich without anyone knowing,
    and it staves off doctors and clinics.
    You can give it to children like candy
    when they've not gone to sleep,
    and a few drops of moon in the eyes of the old
    helps them to die in peace.

    Put a new leaf of moon
    under your pillow
    and you'll see what you want to.
    Always carry a little bottle of air of the moon
    to keep you from drowning.
    Give the key to the moon
    to prisoners and the disappointed.
    For those who are sentenced to death
    and for those who are sentenced to life
    there is no better tonic than the moon

    love moons! pretty pretty. but stars are prettier laaaa. moons represent hope aww its like a good friend always there for you :)

    3. Lease on Life

    We fear death to the extent that we think it an abyss
    Why would we run from a thing if it's bliss?
    Each life is nothing but a sacred temporal lease
    In the end we must vacate, to landlord release.

    haha true - so lets live it with minimal regrets and mistakes.

    4. The Candle

    When life is too tough to handle
    Focus on light, burn like a candle;
    When you feel you're about to drown
    Let your inner fire be your crown;
    When you don't know where to turn
    Just give your warmth, gladly burn;
    When you don't know what you miss
    That is the time to find your bliss.

    Candle, fire won't fear
    Though it may shed a tear,
    Wax & wick are all the same
    To that fire, that flame.
    Candle is not killed by fire;
    Consumed by its own desire,
    To give birth to warmth and light
    Candle's purpose and delight.

    When you think your soul is sick
    Find your wax, fire, and wick.

    inspirational indeed. :)

    BOOOOOOOOO but these poems okok only :( i like the poem last time nic hsien showed me. much better than all these :( :( I WANT NICER POEMS COME ON but cannot find online haha maybe i too lousy cannot understand! LOLLLLL. whateverrrrrr

    the whole world is taking about prom! i am actually not very excited for it. do not know why. i have a feeling that i will hate life after As because there is really nothing to do really really. MAAAAAAN. life is going to be so boringggggggg! :( :( :( :( :( :(

    thank you thank you thank youuuuu - you make me feel quite lucky, thanks. :) a friend indeed.

     

Thursday, 26 November 2009

  • :( :( :( :( :( :( :( x infinity

    1 burnt my hand while ironing my clothes NOW I HAVE AN UGLY SCAR oh my gosh oh my gosh its so ugly i feel like chopping my hand off. the stupid water bubble burst last night when i was sleeping and the skin was like halfway coming out and just covering my flesh. just now i was careless and how my stupid skin is unpeeled or whatever you call it and my flesh is revealed YUCKS YUCKS I HATE MY HAND ITS SO UGLY BUT I SEE IT ALL THE TIME. :( :( :( :( :(

    2. yesterday was TERRIBLE hahahaha. ok studying just failed lol gladys and i just WENT MAD hahahahaha singapore is so boring! we crazily took mrt to novena and walked from novena to orchard! FOR FUN! under the HOT SUN! apparently 36degree celsius LOL. then we took mrt back to novena?!!??!? to eat udders LOL we are so retarded we were not even hungry cos haws kitchen is SO FILLING!!!! and we stuffed ourselves with 2 scoops each. MAD!

    3. haha when you're down theres always a silver lining. yesterday i felt like a very lucky girl because i have people around me that will make me feel better and help me just help me get through tough times. sometimes when i want to stop being a listener and need someone to listen its quite hard to find. and there are many many restricting factors.. hard to explain. last evening was bad. but also good. because its the LAST TIME already i promise myself no more of that. i shall study hard study very very hard and lead a normal life and learn from the worthy people around me and open my eyes big. and close my eyes and shut my ears and turn away when necessary.

    tomorrow is another day to study study study study I AM GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY UGLY WOUND. sighhhhh i hate seeing it it is SO FRICKIN UGLY :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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